I love you - my little bro and Marmie

Well, after this morning, for the first time in about twenty years, my childhood home will be "pet-less." Mom called this morning saying that our old dog, Sassie, has been having some pretty serious seizures for the past few days, and the vet said there was nothing that could be done. So, Mom made the tough call to put her down.

For those of you who are NOT animal lovers - you will not understand.....but for those of us who are....man - they really become like part of the family. I feel the saddest for Mom, because she's had to do the dirty work and make the tough calls with all of our pets. My cat lived - believe it or not - to be 20 years old! I had her since I was five, so I was long gone by the time she kicked the bucket. Sassy is Aaron's dog, and although very attached to her, he has also moved out and has a life of his own, as well.

Meanwhile, this leaves poor Mom who has to deal with all the animals when they become not so cute anymore and actually quite senile in their old age! This is the not-so-fun part of welcoming animals into the family. Having said that, however, both Kev and I are animal lovers, and we have a die-hard little animal lover in Kaden, as well. So, I know that we will go through our share of strays, adoptions, litters of babies, AND I'm sure many a crying fest, as well, at pets who will have become road kill, lost, or who will simply kick the bucket because of old age.

I sure experienced my share of animal joys and "tragedies" growing up, but those are also some of my greatest childhood memories, as well. So, I thank you, sweet Marmie, for always letting us have our little furry friends and for doing all of the dirty work when we left home! May I do the same for my children. I love you!

This One's For Esther.....

For some reason, I am having extreme difficulties posting on Esther's blog. I'll write a nice long comment, and then - I don't know why - it refuses to post for me. So, my dear friend, just know that I faithfully click over to your blog at least once a day, and even though you are receiving no posts from me - I greatly anticipate your new postings and love reading them. So, nicely done on your recent writings! Keep it up, my friend! Love you!

A Transient Time

It's interesting living where we do - at this stage of life that we are in. Part of me truly loves the adventure and uncertainty of the future (believe it or not!), and part of me gets kind of stressed by the whole process!

There are currently three couples here - good friends of ours - who are at this stage of the game. Watching them go through this whole process of figuring out "what's next" makes me thankful that we still have another whole year to go before we will need to make these kinds of decisions. (Kev is always thinking future, and he is always planning - which I'm thankful for - but, still, we can sit pretty for another 12 or so months before we really need to bite the bullet).

It's just interesting to me, because until we moved here, I honestly thought that we might settle down in our little home in Levant for a good many years, stay in that little house until we outgrew it, and then buy another one - a little bigger, but in roughly the same area. Now that I've experienced the difficult and emotional process of "uprooting," it's freeing to REALLY know and to actually EXPERIENCE the truths that: God WILL look out for me, He really will take care of me, He will provide for my needs and desires, that He really does do "exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond all that we could ever ask or imagine."

I am thankful for the times of having the safety net pulled out from underneath me. I'm thankful for the uncertainty of the future, and as I watch my friends work through this process, it is faith building to see how God takes care of each one of us in this journey of life!

Anyway, yet another really long ramble just to say: although my heart's desire is to go back to Maine and to raise my children near our families, I am willing to go wherever the Lord asks of us, and I am willing to do whatever He would have us to do. He's taken care of us once....He'll do it again.

Yeesh!

So, I made a girl cry in my class last night. What a moron. (Me...not her).

My professor asked me to facilitate a group of people giving their devotionals since I gave mine last week. Class was cancelled early due to an ice storm, and only a couple of us were able to complete the assignment. My role was simple: time each person for twelve minutes, cut them off when they were done, and then facilitate discussion on what they did well and what they could improve on for next time.

It was an easy going, open format. We all were careful to give each other great encouragement, but we also offered one another one or two areas that we felt needed a little improvement, as well.

Well....this girl did a fine job, but she just read off her devotional verbatim from her notes with absolutely no emotion or passion in a very monotone voice. So, after telling her: "I thought you came across very confident, you definitly showed us that you knew what you were talking about, there was good evidence of background study, great use of cross-references etc. etc." I went on to suggest that maybe next time she could read a little less from her notes and show some conviction and passion in what we was teaching us. If she personalized it for herself, she might be better able to personalize it for the rest of us. I believe the words I used were: "Be more transparent and vulnerable with us."

Sooooo, anyway........finally, when the last person had finished giving their lesson, this girl said: "Can I just say something? I understand what you were saying about me being more open and transparent, but I did this intentionally. I chose to show no vulnerability because I'm tired of crying. My brother just passed away, and a person can only be vulnerable and transparent for so long before they have to choose to set their emotions aside for awhile."

Shoot me now........

It Has Begun!

Kev decided to skip class this morning and just be home with us for a bit as life has been crazy lately. When he heard Kaden talking in his bed, he offered to let me sleep in for as long as I wanted. What a nice gift, right? To be able to sleep in for AS LONG AS I WANTED? Well, could Amy's little mind relax enough to slip back into La La Land?

Oh no - all I could think about was what needs to get done before baby #2 comes. It's like I realized all of a sudden that I only have a little over three months to get this HUGE list of things done that I want to accomplish.

So, instead of laying there and stressing, I got up and have begun my little list of goals that I have to accomplish within these next 3 1/2 months. Here goes:

* I would really like to get Kaden's album caught up. I am 10 months behind. Our family album will just have to wait. That is non-existent at this point.

* I would like to start my baby album, and be caught up with doctor's visits, pregnant pictures, and my church shower, so that I can be ready to just start putting pics in as soon as the baby is born.

* I need to finish my book one month ahead of schedule as the presentation date is June 6th and I am due June 10th. It at least needs to be ready to go by mid-May in case the baby comes early. I'd like to hop into another class and just present it to them so that it can be done!

* I need to either take or CLEP out of 6 more Gen Ed credits. That really needs to be done the month of March. PBU really wants me to take a counseling course in July, but that may be too much with a newborn - even if it would only be for 5 nights. Sooo, if I could just get it done now, it would be done.

* I would like to take some Bradley Birthing classes, as we are going the Birthing Center route this time, but that is 12 weeks of needing a babysitter and a 12 week commitment of being out an extra night. Is it worth it? I don't know yet.

* And then just the regular stuff of getting extra organized, culling what isn't needed, figuring what I need for baby things, and figuring out where exactly we're going to put this newcomer once he or she arrives!

So, there you have it. Today, I'm going to research courses that I can possibly CLEP out of at the local community college, and I'm going to try to do at least a few pages in Kaden's album each week and just putter away. After that, I'm going to buy another Power Sorts Box and just really organize and label all of my pics for when I am able to get to them.

I'm off.....Did you call it "Build Rome in a Day," Shannon? That's me, today.....at least in my mind!

Shannon - This One's For You!

I have been tagged for the list game, so here goes......Shannon C., Angie, and Esther - you're it next!

Aprons - Y/N? No - although I should - especially with my ever expanding girth. My belly seems to be a catch-all these days.

Baking - Hmmm. I go through phases where I love it and then phases where it's a hassle. This week I love it, and I have hot scones waiting for hubby when he gets home from class tonight.

Clothesline - Y/N? A community one that we all share in our communal backyard.

Donuts - Ever made them? Never made them. Have eaten my share. The only ones I have ever craved are Krispy Kreme hot off the press. De-lish!

One homemaking thing you do everyday? Man, I love homemaking. I do dishes, tidy up, organize, and clean some aspect of my bathroom every day. I love cleaning and organizing.

Freezer - Do you have a separate deep freezer? No, I wish I did. Since Kev shot his deer, that's practically all that's in our freezer....it can hardly even hold an extra icecube tray!

Garbage Disposal - Y/N? No, I agree with you, Shannon - I think they are kind of scary.

Handbook - Y/N? I'm not sure I even know what that is? My Bible?! - My handbook for life!

Ironing - Love it or hate it? Oh man - despise it within the very depths of my soul. Poor Kevy - he irons most of his stuff. I'm actually quite horrible at it, as well....probably because I never do it.

Junk Drawer - Nope - but I have lots of cute "catch-all" wooden boxes that hold various things.

Kitchen - Design and decorating? - ummm, well we live in a rented apartment. But, when we moved in, we painted, laid tile, and I cutsied it up as much as I could.

Love - What is your favorite part of homemaking? Just being home. Making it "me." Decorating with fun things - bringing the outdoors in - lots of wooden things, berries, etc. Making it cozy for my boys. Cooking yummy food so the place smells good. I also LOVE throwing things away....actually a bit anal in this area, I must admit.

Mop - Y/N? Nope - I'm a hands and knees kinda' girl.

Nylons - Oh my - I swore those things off after three years at N.B.B.I. To this day, it's beyond me why I wore them on my wedding day. Beyond that moment, they have touched my legs on only one other occasion. They are the bane of my existence.

Oven - Do you use the window or open it to check? I open 'er wide and let all the hot air out!

Pizza - What do you put on yours? Whatever we have! Yummy cheese, turkey pepperoni if we have it, and lots of veggies.

Quiet - What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment? These days - lots of homework. Although today I scrapbooked during Kaden's entire nap and did 13 pages! Whoo-hoo!

Recipe card box - Y/N? Nope. Binder. Much better. (Good answer, Shannon!)

Style of house - A ghetto apartment in a ghetto town....glorified dorm life with marrieds.

Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N? Tablecloth, no. Napkins, yes.

Under the kitchen sink - All my cleaning products

Vacuum - How many times a week? My place is small - but I usually do it twice. I probably sweep my kitchen and bathroom floors every other day.

Wash - How many loads do you do a week? Because I hate clutter - the three of us share one hamper. It's the equivalent of one load, and when it's full, I do a wash. Depending on how often we go to the gym - the average is probably three. (Shannon - I can't believe you do 16!!!!!! - OH MY WORD!)

X's - Do you keep a list of things to do and cross them off? I am most assuredly a list lover.

Yard - Who does what? Our landlord does it all, baby! Oh for the day when we will have to do everything again, though!

ZZZ's - What is your last homemaking task for the day? Pick up all of the rooms. Make sure that everything is in its place before I start the day all over again tomorrow

Seeing Double

So, I had my first day of babysitting the twins yesterday. Did I mention that the neighborhood that I am now working in is super ritzy, and the twins literally live in (what I would call, anyway) a mansion? Yep - living the high life! It's a beautiful neighborhood and a gorgeous home, but I was telling Kev over supper that even if we ever make enough money for a huge home - I don't want one. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE space and I HATE clutter, but I don't want our place to be so huge that we never run into each other in the run of a day! If I could have enough bedrooms for everyone plus a spare room for company, and if I could have a "catch all" room that could double as an office for Kev and a scrapbooking room for me - than I would be perfectly content. I like to feel cozy. I felt drafty and tiny in that huge house!

Anyway, although the day was long, I really have no complaints. The twins are quite mellow (is that how you spell that word?) and Kaden had a great time over there and napped three hours for me! The little girl naps for a long time but the boy is a 45 "minute-er". So, I'll at least have a 45 minute break during the day. She pays me $12 an hour - so it's really pretty easy money. At the very least, it gives me confidence that I can handle two kids of my own! :0)

My devotional is DONE! I now just need to videotape it in front of some peers and then present it in my class. After I whip off a 15 page final paper, yet another class will have bit the dust! Let the good times roll!

Been Awhile...

Nothing overly exciting to post...just that I'm not dead.

My "devotional/sermon" is due to be videotaped this week and I'm feeling a little pressure. Not too bad - I've done all of the inductive study etc., now I just need to put it together, make it catchy and contemporary, and invite some friends over to pick it apart....I mean "critique" it for me. :0) Then, next Tuesday, I have to present it to my entire class.....of which there are at least 6 pastors, who do this for a living, might I add. Joy.

So, here is the decided upon topic. I'm going to teach from Titus 2:1-5. My audience will be women my age - at my stage of life, specifically - young wives and moms (or soon to be moms!) And, I'm going to come at it from a feminist/women's lib approach - a TRUE women's liberation approach, and a TRUE feminist approach the way that God originally designed our roles to be. From these verses, I'm going to teach a little bit about discipleship (how the older are to teach the younger) and what exactly we are supposed to be examples in: being lovers of our husbands, lovers of our children, and lovers of our homes. We're supposed to have catchy outlines....I'm not a catchy person, so this has been stressing me a little.

So far, here are my points: On Becoming.......(1) Lovers of Husbands - living purposefully in our submission; (2) Lovers of our Heirs (I needed an "h" that represented our kids!) - living purposefully in our selflessness; and (3) Lovers of our Homes - living purposefully in our servanthood. Or maybe instead of the three "s" words, I could do: godliness, guidance, and grace. Good grief - I don't know. Catchy phrases kind of irritate me! Anyway, those ARE the three things that I am going to be talking about.....all areas that I am constantly needing to grow and become more godly and gracious in!

Anyway, that's what's been consuming my life this week. AND the fact that one of my 14 friends who are pregnant just had her baby yesterday!!!!! So much fun!....AND the fact that I am possibly going to start babysitting two 15 month old twins. Let me tell you how thrilled I am about that possibility........